Oh emotional world

Lane has learned a few things lately.   Like whining long enough, and then throwing a dramatic tantrum will get him something.  Whether it's what he wanted initially or a change of scenery, it will get him something.  

He now whines, cries, smacks me when we are in line to pay for bananas and I won't let him eat one right.away.right.now.  He points at the banana and screams and then hits me and suddenly I don't have enough hands to discipline him and how would I even do that - I've never had to do that - he's never smacked me in the face before - I haven't read any books about it or anything......

And two 5 year old twins are sizing me up and their mom is trying to ignore me and suddenly I feel eyes of judgement from all sides of the store staring at me from over magazine racks, peeking from behind isles,  and the checkout line feels very very long.  What kind of person have I made?!  What kind of mother am I?!

Of course it's not like that.  Once I get home and read some Dr. Sears and some blogs I'm like- oh okay yeah, he's a toooooddler.  But clearly, clearly, I have no idea what I'm doing. 

Then he falls asleep 2 hours before normal nap time and doesn't wake up for anything because he's completely out of energy.  The banana-tantrum, the insecure mommy moment that I'm sure he sensed, it was too much for one day.  

Closed eyes....they are so precious...they are so golden.  Sleeping children are miracles we get to experience every day.

I am so proud of us.  We conquered 3-month-newborn-hell and went on to conquer 11-month-co-sleeping-hell.  I now think of parenting as a huge obstacle course where you have to constantly change your shoes.  Put on your endurance boots.  Put on your limit-setting boots.  

Now we must conquer the 1-3's - the long stretch where Lane tests out his new skills and learns how to become himself without losing us.  I'm putting on my keep-calm-carry-on boots.  These ones come equipped with a tiny bag of peanut butter cups.  Maybe they are also neon green and fuzzy to help me maintain a healthy sense of humor.