Christmas gift outtakes + feeling like a normal person

We stopped by the greenway today to take some Christmas pictures of Lane for the family.  As many of them read the blog, I'll keep the chosen few hidden until Christmas day, but here were some of my favorites that didn't make the gift-worthy cut:

I'm pretty much completely in love with my kid.

Today he said some words he's repeated before, but this time said them completely unprompted.  Flower (as he pointed to one), brush, sit - down (commands to zuko).  So, out of curiosity, I made an official list of words he uses daily.  I left out ones he just repeats and listed what he uses correctly, and this boy uses 35+ words!  I want to get two of them on film before they dissolve into perfect language: yellow (yell-lauw) and buzz buzz, said exactly like that but in cute baby voice.


After a full day yesterday of doting over Lane, I went out with friends and a few strange things happened:

First, as I was waiting for my friends to arrive, I saw a couple with a toddler and I immediately struck up conversation.  "How old is your son?  He's so well behaved!  I have a 15 month old.  How was your holiday?! Excited for Christmas?"  They were, of course, over the moon to talk to someone about their child and we all blossomed under the veil of mutual strangeness/ecstasy of being first-time parents.  When they left I realized how badly  I want to talk to people with kids every time I see them in public.  I do it all.the.time.   I want to bond over how many words our kids can say and show off Christmas pictures and get together and let our boys throw things at each other.

That's why I come here and write, really.  The writing I share here isn't as close to my heart as it is elsewhere, but it feels just as important for me to blog about Lane because of how hungry I am for connection with other parents.

The next thing that happened was that I had a complete blast with my friends without saying more than two words about Lane.  We talked about breastfeeding (hehehe) but it wasn't in reference to my son, and I was actually relieved.  I love this role as mother, but feeling like my own entity, separate from my kid is healthy.

And so difficult to do alone.

If you're reading this and you're a mother (or father) - shoot me a note so we can talk about babies.
And if you're reading this and you're a friend of a mother (or father) - shoot them an e-mail so you can talk about what bar you're going to tomorrow night.

And if you're reading this and you're a member of my family - I want H&M gift cards for Christmas because my sense of style got lost with my sense of identity, and part of finding myself is finding the right clothes to wear.



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