The very root of the word emotion means to move.

This is the view from my bed, where I've been somewhat crippled with anxiety lately.  Cheers to the new year.  I don't know what's going on.  I let small uncontrollable things weigh on me so heavy until they turn into huge things and I can't let go.  Once they're big in my brain, they feel impossible to breathe through.  This isn't how I want to be and this isn't how I want Lane to grow up with me being.  I have **anxiety** around this ridiculous vision of the future where Lane, 13 and quiet, has to make excuses for his mother who can't leave the house because of her extreme nerves.  I'm guessing this isn't what Colt had in mind during the future game.  I have to get this under control.  

New years resolution number 1: Get my anxiety under control.  

I have to move.

When I'm moving my body, I can get outside of my head.  When I'm dancing or doing yoga I don't have to think any of my thoughts and they disappear against a backdrop of heavy breath that comes from my chest.  During a performance, in the black box, the lights creating the illusion of the audience as a masked Shakespearean chorus, I don't have to think about sickness or death or the sadness of falling in love or any other thought that sends me into panic.  I think only about the movement of my feet, the movement of my clavicle, and the way I light up with the music.  My body is built to perform.  My anxious mind pushes me to it. 

The very root of the word emotion means to move.

On that note: tickets are on sale for the Plexus Dance show!  You can buy them here and you totally should.  This company has been a blast to work with so far and I can't wait to see where it all goes.


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