Pregnancy or Psychotic episode?

Has anyone seen that slightly offensive and also slightly hilarious tumblr "Hasid or Hipster?"

This was running through my mind as I survived an awful day wrought with pregnancy-induced over-emotion and overreaction.  I considered starting my own slightly offensive and also slightly hilarious tumblr "Pregnancy or Psychotic Episode?"

Here's how you, too can be on my tumblr!

Note: as a rule, before you attempt this day you should be approximately 32 weeks pregnant and a generally nice person that doesn't usually lose her cool.

Step one: Discover that your dishwasher won't drain after spending nearly $2,000 on plumbing repairs only 2 weeks prior.

Step two: Call said plumber and request they come out and take a look at their potentially shoddy workmanship.

Step three: When plumber shows up 30 minutes late and claims they didn't touch your dishwasher and this has nothing to do with them or their work, uncharacteristically yell at them, question their qualifications, explain how their company sucks to high hell, and kick them out of your house by holding open your door and saying "GOOD DAY SIR!"   (yes, for real.)

Step four: Cry for a while.  Call the plumbing supervisor and complain while crying.  Get off the phone and have a good cry about it by yourself.

Step five: Decide that since no one is going to help you, you're going to fix the problem yourself.

Hand wash all the dishes currently in your dishwasher, then watch youtube videos on how clean your dishwasher filter.  Find surprisingly gross things in your dishwasher like broken glass, dog hair, cherry seeds.

Meticulously and obsessively clean all parts within reach on the inside of your dishwasher.

Step six: Find out the dishwasher still doesn't drain.  CRY.

Step seven: Eat some dinner, do some family stuff, hand wash the dinner dishes.  Then remember the youtube video about the one other thing that could possibly be wrong - a blockage in the drain hose.  Decide that tonight's the night you're going to fix the problem.

Step eight: OK.  So this is a big one.  Unmount your dishwasher.  Turn off the electricity and water.  Pull it out of the counter.

Flip it on it's side by yourself pregnant woman!! (breaking a leveling foot.  So pause here to call someone and cry about this on your phone.)  Take off the panels, take out the hose.  Find the culprit....a sweet little cherry seed....blocking all draining of the dishwasher.

Remove the cherry seed.  Put the whole thing back together.  Tighten all screws, tighten all wires.  Check that everything is right.  IT'S RIGHT!  It's all RIGHT!  Turn on the electricity.  Turn on the water.  Run the dishwasher.

Step nine: Watch the dishwasher leak all over the floor.

Step ten:  Cry.  CRYYYY, baby, cry.  Then eat three helpings of mint chocolate chip ice cream

and go the hell to bed.

Pregnancy?  Or Psychotic Episode??
No one will ever know.


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