the hummingbird and the baby

I survived today, watching a spider out of my window spinning and re-spinning her web as it was destroyed time and again by rain from the impending tropical storm.  She was diligent and brave, showing off her skills in midair -
until a hummingbird swamped the whole bush and ate every insect in site.  I held Lane close and told him, "We are alive, little boy."

We went to the park, we strolled through the woods, we looked at the fountains and bicycles and dogs, and I forgot about work altogether and nasty people and cruelty that happens behind privacy fences, and listened to Lane babble.  When I said "bye-bye" he said, "yie yie" in the same inflection and when I hid his "ducky" and asked him where it was, he laughed hysterically every time, and when he realized he could see me from the mesh on top of his stroller, sitting down below wouldn't do.
He had to be in my arms.

Lane is amazing.  Spending time with him reminds me of the bliss possible in every moment if I open wide enough.
If I let go of everything the moment it happens-
my attachment to the spider and the beauty of the bird.


Nothing is worth losing my peace over.