Helios

Colt plays in the dirt.  When he plays.

He takes his body out into the world and gets earth under his fingernails and wears holes in his shoes and builds rock stacks (rookstacks) in the fields and jumps and falls and tumbles, uninhibited by self-doubt, self-judgement- the things that choke me up.

We are all this free...when we call our souls up out of our heads, when we 'forget ourselves'.

I pulled up an old photograph of myself from college and asked him if it still looked like me.  His answer was, "You don't have any sadness there".  It was a beautiful way of saying no.  

I envied his ability to touch his freedom in that moment.  

How do I get back to the life I want to live?