"It's not the one I'd choose but it's the one we live in"

A few things have been happening.

1. Lane had yet another sleep regression type thing for a few days, waking up on the hour every hour at night, and then wiggling around in our big bed.  When this happens, it's like finding the right key to the lock that's forever changing.  This time around, he doesn't want blankets.  or touching.  This took me three days to figure out.  Goodbye every-way-we-used-to-put-him-to-bed.  Hello lying down with him while he wiggles into a safe strange contortion and falls asleep.

2. On another note, he's developed a sense of humor.  He's started to think certain particular things are HILARIOUS, like putting his foot in my face during breastfeeding to see if I'll take the bait and pretend to eat it.  All outcomes of this send him into a laughing fit, including the one where I do nothing.

3.  I have to get a few things off my chest:

- What happened in the Zimmerman case is a complete tragedy.
- I'm disappointed in systems (living in North Carolina, state government has been a heated debate, and coming from Charlotte I feel somewhat responsible as local government got us into this position, and our monetary system is bust, to name a few...)  and I'm feeling paralyzed.  I have a limited amount of money and I'm not a corporation, so what can I really do to change anything?

-AP's death has really affected me in the sense that I'm having a resurgence of grief about my dad.  He's been showing up in my dreams.  This may seem to some like a blessing, and it probably is, but the grass is truly always greener.  I can hug him in my dreams, I can even smell his cologne, but then I wake up and am left with how to world feels without him in it.

I told myself I'd post these naked baby pictures to lighten up this post, so here they are in all of their pixelated glory:

Baby booty always makes me feel better.


  1. AHHHHHH! look at him, sooooo handsome! love you boos!!!!!


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